Farting
Posted by Anonymous on Wed 22nd May 2013 04:03
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modification of post by Anonymous (view diff)

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10:30:13.pm) < TheFartGuy> So, I have an egg allergy/intolerance like Awesome's milk intolerance
10:30:58.pm) < TheFartGuy> if I eat eggs I fart a lot and it smells like death in a garbage can full of dead opossums. So, one time I was cycling to a friends house and I was offered deviled eggs
10:31:51.pm) < AwesomeGuy> Poultry allergies are very Real
10:32:03.pm) < AwesomeGuy> And if you have one you can't get the flu vaccine
10:32:16.pm) < TheFartGuy> and I don't like turning down food because it feels rude, even though I legit should never eat eggs. so I had some of
                            them, and on the way home I cycled past a  park and I had to REALLY FREAKING FART. So I let loose. it was...hot, like
                            it burned coming out, and the stench made me gag.
10:32:30.pm) < AwesomeGuy> Nice TheFartGuy
10:32:33.pm) < AwesomeGuy> Very classy
10:32:41.pm) < TheFartGuy> on the other side of the wooden park fence I hear someone say "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?"
10:33:05.pm) < TheFartGuy> and then just a whole family coughing and gagging...and I started pedaling faster to get far away
10:34:43.pm) < TheFartGuy> I had small farts all the way home, but none as bad as that. and I kept up the same speed just so that hopefully I'd
                            outpace the smell. got home just in time to stow the bike in the garage and get to the bathroom before the cramps and
                            diahrrea hit.
10:35:25.pm) < Bob> TheFartGuy: seems like a good reason to say "no thanks, not hungry"
10:35:28.pm) < pronto> holy fuck, that is epic TheFartGuy
10:35:46.pm) < pronto> TheFartGuy: seems like a good reason to eat eggs in small crowded elevators
10:36:12.pm) < TheFartGuy> oh god, if I ate deviled eggs then got in an elevator, I'd deserve to be charged with crimes against humanity.
10:36:33.pm) < TheFartGuy> Saddam Hussein mustard gassing? pfft. I'd be tried in the Hague.